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Dead Babies and Other Bad Jokes' Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Dead Babies and Other Bad Jokes

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[13 Dec 2006|05:48am]


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[02 Oct 2005|03:25pm]

[ mood | accomplished ]

I'm new here, and I come bearing a gift:

A doctor was delivering a young woman's baby. After the delievery, he said "Congratulations, it's a boy!", then he threw it across the room. He picked it up again, and began to stab it with a scapel. When the baby was bloodied up anough, he elbow slammed it onto the floor before stomping on the infant until it was a mass of blood and innards. He looked up to the mother, who stared at him, terrifyed. Laughing, the doctor said "Just kidding! It was already dead!"

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[05 Jun 2005|05:51pm]

[ mood | predatory ]

How did the dead baby cross the road?

it was stapled to the chicken.

What's worse than 10 dead babies stapled to a tree?

one dead baby stapled to ten trees.


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[15 Apr 2005|03:08pm]


I love this!  but why is it so funny?
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[25 Mar 2005|11:04pm]

When I'm not shooting dead babies out of a cannon, I'm doing my next favorite hobby.

Killing the Vietnamese!
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LMFAO !!!!111!!11!!!!!1one1 [21 Feb 2005|01:47pm]

[ mood | cold ]

`` How do you make a dead baby float? ``

`` take your foot off it's head. ``




more under the cutCollapse )

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N00B [17 Jan 2005|06:49pm]

What's sick?
A garbage can full of dead babies.

What's sicker than that?
One on the bottom is still alive.

What's sicker than that?
He has to eat his way to freedom.

What's even sicker?
He goes back for more.

What's the most beautiful sound in the world?
Hearing a baby's bones crack under preassure. (Notice I didn't say "a dead baby's bones")
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[22 Dec 2004|07:53pm]


if you're sick - join rotten__
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Some Fun Fun Jokes [16 Dec 2004|01:19pm]

Whats more fun that strapping a dead baby to a clothesline and spinning it around 200 mph?

...stopping it with a shovel.

Whats blue and orange at the bottom of a pool? A baby with its floatie slashed...

Whats blue, orange, green, pink, purple and slightly brown?

...same baby, three weeks later

Whats slimey and red that crawls up your leg?

...a homesick abortion

Whats the difference between a tree and a baby?

...Ones legal to hit with an AX
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[10 Dec 2004|08:54pm]

What do you get when you stab a baby seven times?
-An erection!

How do you get 3 dead babies to fit in a bucket?
-With a blender.

How do you get them out again?

Sorry if these are well known; just joined.
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[04 Dec 2004|02:20am]

This place is beautiful.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you through them.

What's the hardest part of stabbing a baby with a butter knife?

Suppressing the erection.
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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? [21 Nov 2004|07:23pm]

I take my boots off before I jump on the trampoline.
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[17 Nov 2004|03:25pm]

A harlequin fetus all grown up: http://www.10news.com/health/3919722/detail.html

The page includes a timeline of pictures from birth until age 18.
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[28 Oct 2004|07:55pm]

[ mood | accomplished ]

How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

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[28 Sep 2004|04:57am]

What's white and bobs up and down in a babies' crib?

My ass.

How do you make a baby stop crying?

With an axe.

What's small and pink and crawling up a woman's leg?

A homesick abortion.

I'll post some pictures of my abortion barbie on here later, when the webcam gets up and working again.
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Too funny [20 Sep 2004|08:27pm]

[ mood | amused ]

When Babies battle with Rhinos, everyone wins.
    In the wild, Babies and Rhinos are natural enemies and fight until their last drop of blood. Now, for the first time, you can own the shirt dedicated to the initial hostilities of these two deadly combatants. Frozen in the second before their eternal struggle, you can keep that moment forever.
The shirt

x-posted to my journal
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[17 Sep 2004|02:36am]

whats pink and black up jumps up?

A baby in a toaster

Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads?

So you can pick them up five at a time

How do you prevent a baby from exploding in the microwave?

Poke holes in it with a coat hanger.

In no way am I a sick person... but these kind of jokes are funny as hell
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*clears throat* my very favourite. [13 Aug 2004|03:41pm]
how do you make a baby float?

answer a: two scoops of ice cream, three scoops of baby.

answer b: take your foot off its head.

never fails to amuse me.
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[07 Aug 2004|11:10pm]


what's the difference between a dead baby and a porsche?

i don't have a porsche in my garage
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101 things to do with a baby [18 May 2004|08:03pm]

I don't know how many of you read SomethingAwful.com, but that is the subject of this week's comedy coldmine

It's kinda like this:

from SomethingAwful
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